8 weeks Todayyy!!

I have a feeling these next eight weeks will fly!!! I am feeling pretty good today. I had a great plyo leg day. I was a little skeptical going into this workout because I thought I wouldn't feel it, but it had me sweating and was totally challenging! I also had a breakthrough in my posing. I felt more confident at moments of it today then I ever have. Hoping it just keeps getting better! I also posed in Kirkwood 24hr for the first time and their room shape and mirror location really made a difference. I like how I can see my back from my front pose. It helps to see what needs to be tweaked at this point. All my meals are prepped and alarms set for when I eat so I'm feeling good about that. Didn't sleep too well last night because I kept thinking about small competition details, stage, posing, etc. Seems to be a common theme lately. Actually this show dominates my conversations. I wonder if thats how all competitors are? It truly is a lifestyle change. Well here's to 8 more weeks of hard work. Closer to the finish line than the starting line!

Ready to ROCK These Last 8 Weeks

Haha literally and figuratively! I may have found a secret weapon to push me thru these last 8 weeks... ROCK MUSIC. Seriously. If you know me I am the furthest thing from a rocker but somehow it got me through cardio yesterday and lifting/cardio today. My hiphop is so repetitive and enjoyable I felt it was time to shake it up. Rock is where its at. It angers me to push through the final reps and go harder on the steps!! WINNER for now! Also I have decided I am gonna focus on NOT looking in the mirror or taking pics for two weeks!! That will put me at six weeks out. I feel I am becoming too obsessed and often discouraged by the fact that I am not seeing MAJOR changes day to day. Finally today I said goodbye to splenda! Now it is strictly black coffee and stevia:)

So Consumed

So it seems lately I have totally submerged my life into all things FIGURE COMPETITION. I spend my nights going google and youtube crazy, looking at images, reading articles, watching videos, all with varied opinions and avenues that they have mapped this journey out. And then suddenly the doubt creeps in. I start questioning myself, my coach, were there things I should have done differently, is it too late, am I on track?? This shit is crazy and I still have two more months!!! I jave literally been training since Oct and have yet to see anyone prep that far out and i felt I was starting with a pretty fit foundation so wtf??!! It frustrates me because these eating habits are hard to maintain consistently and precisely for this long, and so far I have and that worries ke because it is only gonna get worse in the weeks ahead and I dont want to crack! I have so many concerns even with my coach and our communication. I truly need it to be more regular in the weeks to come. I am always hungry and I hate meal three and meal 5 the most. Wellll actually just meal three. I am still loving the occasional peanut butter. It tastes like heaven. I just ate my 6th meal for the day (7th if you count one of my protein shakes) and I am laying in bed starving.

Walk Through.. Gotta Visualize It

With about eight weeks out till show time, I have to say it is getting very real to me. In fact it just hit me that for some of my body parts I only have eight more times to work them out. With that being said I decided last week that I would take a trip to the venue where the show is being held once a week to visualize the competition. I completely feel that you must have some sort of concept of the environment, the less unknowns the better. However, here I am sitting outside of the room unable to go in because an event is being held there right now. Oh well, baby steps, at least I am in the building!

Almost Two Months Out

Well when you put it in terms of months it seems far but when I say eight weeks I get freaked!!! I think I will start saying TWO MONTHS... At this point I'm experiencing a lot of highs and lows... Cardio is high, energy is low. Anxiety is high, food portions is low. Number of meals I consume daily is high, sleep is low. You get the gist. Along with this I have frequent headaches because of the lack of carbs, sugar, dairy. No more cafe mochas for me. I am one week in on actual competition diet and four days in on no dairy. Man has my life changed. This experience is making me grow on so many levels. I have told so many people this is more than physical and it truly is. In fact more times than not the physical part is the easiest for me to push through. I am struggling with the lack of patience, lack of energy, high irritability, and just getting my head in the game and my confidence up. I just started posing, shoes are awesome, suit is mostly finalized. Now I just need to order my suit, register for the show, and ride these next two months out. I am trying to not obsess over my body and just TRUST that it will transform. My good friend who also competes advised me to only really worry if their are no changes 4 weeks out or one month from now. But with my recent tweaks in diet and training I feel they will. My real focus is solidifying my internal dialogue to KNOW I can do this. I have come too far and worked to hard to NOT do this...

Day One Of SOLO Posing

Soooo today along with my regular workout, I started my new diet which is ok so far. Am I hungry?? YES!!! Do I have cravings?? Yes but they are general cravings, I can't name anything specifically I want. I don't really have headaches but since things have kicked up to another notch I will say that I have felt like I was gonna throw up a few times. Hopefully that will subside. My new workouts start tomorrow but posing started today. I took a few notes on posing tips from meeting with my coach because we wont pose together for a few weeks. I also purchased my heels today because your body looks much different in heels than tennis shoes. So after my lifting and cardio I stripped down, threw on my heels and started posing in the group exercise room. At first I was hesitant because it was 5pm, prime crown time and my body is still at least ten weeks out, but then I figured I have to get used to being in front of people so I proceeded. My coach wanted me to aim for 30sec per pose...yeahhhhh right! That is hard work and it hurts!!! Totally uncomfortable! I posed for about twenty minutes, took a few pics and left. My new goal is to start at ten sec per pose and slowly build up weekly. Trust me when i say posing is a workout in itself!

Ten Weeks Out??!!!

Say what?? This is exactly what my coach said when i walked into our appointment today. That would put me in for the March show.... I was leaning more towards April!! Ten weeks seems so close...Next week we will be down to single digits!!! 9 and so on... Will I be lean enough? Ripped enough? Have enough muscle mass? Have the posing down? Be confident enough? Honestly I don't know about any of this. There are times I wanna quit. But I have wanted this goal for so long and have told so many people I almost feel obligated. Reality hit me when she said well do you wanna do a later show??HELL NO!!! I have been prepping for this on some level for about 90 days... That is three months. I know I have had more than my fair share of cheat meals because of the holidays, but I have busted my ass with my workouts, killed and finally been able to tolerate cardio, ate mostly clean, spent time and money, and I want this! It was in that moment that I realized that as I do my workouts, eat my many meals each day, climb those stairs, and strike those quarter turn poses I need to work on my internal dialogue and strengthen my confidence to take that stage. I'm still not sure about March or April or both. But we have officially started cutting to lean me out. She says I will see major changes. I pray so! My workouts have changed and cardio has gone up, as well as she requiring that I pose 20 min a day. We will officially start posing once a week in a few weeks, along with me being in the gym 6 days a week for approx 2 hours a day. I am scared and already tired. Tomorrow I will buy my competition shoes so I can pose in them. She feels super confident that I will rock either show...I just wanna believe the same. This experience is like a second job. I literally get up, eat, workout, figure out when I'm eating throughout the day, cook maybe, do dishes, go to sleep and do it again the next day. I pray all of this work pays off!