Tuesday, March 12, 2013

4 days out

Well I literally feel like on some levels I am just passing time. I have one more workout left, one more cardio session, one more day of intense water consumption, and one more day of these meals I have been eating for months... My last two days will be some posing, relaxing, and carb loading. I am literally at the finish line. Who knew I could do this!?? I didnt....for the longest.. But then I did!!! All I can say is I have nothing but absolute pride for myself. I know what it took, and I did it... It is an amazing feeling. And although I am nervous I vow to go out there, hit my poses, trust in them, and let that be that. I have practiced enough. Now is not the time to over think anything. I have done the work and then some, now time to put it on stage and show off what months of busting my ass has got me . It is crazy how much goes into this. The precise diet, hard training, hours of cardio, unGodly amounts of water, posing sessions, lots if supplements, not to mention all the BEAUTY prep. The nails, hair, tanning(which I cant wait for), makeup, face waxing(ouch!), skin prep, and the list goes on.....the sacrifice, deprivation, structured days, it is a lot and deserves nothing but RESPECT.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

10 Days Out

Where did the time go??!!! This journey is seriously down to the final days....Wow... I can see the finish line...I must say with literally days left on the 200 day journey I have noticed my emotions coming back. I was emotional in the beginning, obviously because I had finally made the commitment to do this. But then I detached so I could focus. And I truly have. I have zero regrets. I did what I was told down to every last detail I survived this. I struggled, I cried, I was sore, tired, wanted to quit but I didn't. I dug deep, pressed on, all the while keeping track of every detail of my day. I thrive with structure and feeling like I have a purpose. These past six months and especially 12 weeks have given me both and so much more. I am forever changed and I wouldn't trade this moment for anything. Now in the final stretch I am on low carb, two cardio sessions a day, and the same workout regimen I have had for weeks for four days, then a week out (Sat) everything will change for "peak week". This is when it all comes together. It is also when I deplete water and will be more tired than I already am. I have definitely had mood swings, been exhausted, passed out asleep early in the night without realizing it, but for the most part I have done amazing especially since it is my first show. Also the past few dts doubt has crept in and my posing is still a struggle. However I had a peptalk tonight the re-centered me. I have made amazing strides, I have been dedicated, focused, busted my ass, ate the same damn meals, did unGodly amounts of cardio, drank an insane amount of water, and I am taking on a National level, huge show as my first show. That is no easy task, but I am doing it. So I refuse to go out on stage and not rock it! Im gonna keep telling myself that for ten more days too. Like I am going out there in hooker heels, wearing a sparkly napkin, with bright lights for lots of strangers to see.... Fuck that!!! I will own this!