Tuesday, March 12, 2013

4 days out

Well I literally feel like on some levels I am just passing time. I have one more workout left, one more cardio session, one more day of intense water consumption, and one more day of these meals I have been eating for months... My last two days will be some posing, relaxing, and carb loading. I am literally at the finish line. Who knew I could do this!?? I didnt....for the longest.. But then I did!!! All I can say is I have nothing but absolute pride for myself. I know what it took, and I did it... It is an amazing feeling. And although I am nervous I vow to go out there, hit my poses, trust in them, and let that be that. I have practiced enough. Now is not the time to over think anything. I have done the work and then some, now time to put it on stage and show off what months of busting my ass has got me . It is crazy how much goes into this. The precise diet, hard training, hours of cardio, unGodly amounts of water, posing sessions, lots if supplements, not to mention all the BEAUTY prep. The nails, hair, tanning(which I cant wait for), makeup, face waxing(ouch!), skin prep, and the list goes on.....the sacrifice, deprivation, structured days, it is a lot and deserves nothing but RESPECT.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

10 Days Out

Where did the time go??!!! This journey is seriously down to the final days....Wow... I can see the finish line...I must say with literally days left on the 200 day journey I have noticed my emotions coming back. I was emotional in the beginning, obviously because I had finally made the commitment to do this. But then I detached so I could focus. And I truly have. I have zero regrets. I did what I was told down to every last detail I survived this. I struggled, I cried, I was sore, tired, wanted to quit but I didn't. I dug deep, pressed on, all the while keeping track of every detail of my day. I thrive with structure and feeling like I have a purpose. These past six months and especially 12 weeks have given me both and so much more. I am forever changed and I wouldn't trade this moment for anything. Now in the final stretch I am on low carb, two cardio sessions a day, and the same workout regimen I have had for weeks for four days, then a week out (Sat) everything will change for "peak week". This is when it all comes together. It is also when I deplete water and will be more tired than I already am. I have definitely had mood swings, been exhausted, passed out asleep early in the night without realizing it, but for the most part I have done amazing especially since it is my first show. Also the past few dts doubt has crept in and my posing is still a struggle. However I had a peptalk tonight the re-centered me. I have made amazing strides, I have been dedicated, focused, busted my ass, ate the same damn meals, did unGodly amounts of cardio, drank an insane amount of water, and I am taking on a National level, huge show as my first show. That is no easy task, but I am doing it. So I refuse to go out on stage and not rock it! Im gonna keep telling myself that for ten more days too. Like I am going out there in hooker heels, wearing a sparkly napkin, with bright lights for lots of strangers to see.... Fuck that!!! I will own this!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

30 Days Out

Wow....it had been three weeks since I posted?!! Where did the time go?! I cant believe I am a little over four weeks out from my first figure competition. I am all registered, suit rented, now its just about being focused for 29 more days. I am a mixture of emotions and my thoughts are everywhere but I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. It is by far the most gratifying and empowering experience I have ever been a part of. My workouts are going well, my diet has just changed to include two high carbs, 2 medium carb days, and 3 low carb days. The diet us new this week so I can't wait to see how this affects me and the changes it brings on. My posing is definitely coming along, I have made huge strides but it still needs to be tweaked before I hit the stage. I am definitely concerned about this because that is what it comes down to, my presentation. I definitely plan on posing longer each day in these upcoming weeks to nail it. I definitely have grown more crabby in these weeks because I am seriously just tired. I feel like I have been training for this for forever and I am ready to just BE THERE!

Thursday, January 24, 2013

51 days out!!!!

So today started the new cardio program which was torture!!!!The treadmill! It was on a high incline at a low speed and I don't know if my issue was because I am used to the stairs or I haven't done it in a while or everytime I used to get on it I was doing it wrong?? Yes WRONG!!!But whatever it was it was a struggle!!!I did it though...So first let me tell you how I was doing it wrong and many people do it wrong, THEY HOLD ON!! It makes it easier...duh...but it takes away the benefits. I am still very tired, annoyed, frustrated, hungry, and sick of eating at the same time. It feels like I am always on the GO! I am still craving peanut butter, weird....and ezikiel...I keeeeeep saying that. My posing is still making me nervous, I do not wanna blow it!!!I rock the walking in heels, the front pose, and the back pose. My weakness is the side poses, specifically the RIGHT side, and the RIGHT side relaxed pose...What can I say I am a lefty!!! I started a video blog today as well. I feel like 51 days out is a good place to start video blogging this experience. It is far enough out to see changes but close enough that it wont be a drawn out process. Speaking of changes, I am still waiting for that AH HA, kapow, WOAH moment when my body just pops! It still looks the same to me. Very frustrating. But I KNOW that in 7 weeks with constant and correct effort my body has to get there!!!!Also I was told that I am defiitely hanging onto water, possibly my body's attempt to hold onto SOMETHING!!! But that eventually it will let go and be gone which will help lean me out more. My strength is still relatively high, but I am growing more tired quickly. My favorite meals involve peanut butter or ezikiel....and my toughest are meals three and five...It makes me laugh that I don't even call them "breakfast", "dinner", etc. Strange. Tomorrow will be my last time spray tanning to allow my body to completely clear it off so I am fresh for competition tan. That will be another adjustment that will shock my life and shake my self-esteem. I am a tanner, I feel better that way and I stay that way, so these next 50 days as I get leaner and whiter will be a challenge!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

My thoughts

Welllll I can't believe I am nearing the finishline!!! I have made such personal strides! I am a wiz at measuring food, preppin food, cooking food, dealing with minimal flavors and large amounts of food, just to name a few. I have stayed on course, played by the rules. I take my supplements, eat my meals, drink unGodly amounts of water, I'm precise with the timing of my meals, beast my workouts and dominate cardio. Who knew? I am doing the work so I know changes will happen. My confidence is building everyday. Am I still scared?? For sure. But I will be fine. I have come to learn that I do have quite the support system even though it is spread out and people have come out of the woodwork with encouraging words. That is huge because this is quite the rollercoaster ride, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I am truly growing, learning, and evolving every single day inside and out.

52 days out

Sooo tweaks in cardio to shock the body start today! Still six days...mostly for 40 min stil but two hourlong sessuons.. Workouts the same and a couple refeed meals on leg days...that makes me HAPPY!!! My energy is lower.. Im hungry waking up and going to bed.. Thats normal it means my metabolism is working! Started glutamine today post workout to help with recovery... What an awesome journey this is, I feel so blessed and proud... Im really doing this!!! It is still so surreal!! I am now focusing on my breathing at all times to gain awareness! Super important... I am also focusing on really squeezing with every step in my cardio...

Saturday, January 19, 2013

8 weeks Todayyy!!

I have a feeling these next eight weeks will fly!!! I am feeling pretty good today. I had a great plyo leg day. I was a little skeptical going into this workout because I thought I wouldn't feel it, but it had me sweating and was totally challenging! I also had a breakthrough in my posing. I felt more confident at moments of it today then I ever have. Hoping it just keeps getting better! I also posed in Kirkwood 24hr for the first time and their room shape and mirror location really made a difference. I like how I can see my back from my front pose. It helps to see what needs to be tweaked at this point. All my meals are prepped and alarms set for when I eat so I'm feeling good about that. Didn't sleep too well last night because I kept thinking about small competition details, stage, posing, etc. Seems to be a common theme lately. Actually this show dominates my conversations. I wonder if thats how all competitors are? It truly is a lifestyle change. Well here's to 8 more weeks of hard work. Closer to the finish line than the starting line!

Friday, January 18, 2013

Ready to ROCK These Last 8 Weeks

Haha literally and figuratively! I may have found a secret weapon to push me thru these last 8 weeks... ROCK MUSIC. Seriously. If you know me I am the furthest thing from a rocker but somehow it got me through cardio yesterday and lifting/cardio today. My hiphop is so repetitive and enjoyable I felt it was time to shake it up. Rock is where its at. It angers me to push through the final reps and go harder on the steps!! WINNER for now! Also I have decided I am gonna focus on NOT looking in the mirror or taking pics for two weeks!! That will put me at six weeks out. I feel I am becoming too obsessed and often discouraged by the fact that I am not seeing MAJOR changes day to day. Finally today I said goodbye to splenda! Now it is strictly black coffee and stevia:)

Thursday, January 17, 2013

So Consumed

So it seems lately I have totally submerged my life into all things FIGURE COMPETITION. I spend my nights going google and youtube crazy, looking at images, reading articles, watching videos, all with varied opinions and avenues that they have mapped this journey out. And then suddenly the doubt creeps in. I start questioning myself, my coach, were there things I should have done differently, is it too late, am I on track?? This shit is crazy and I still have two more months!!! I jave literally been training since Oct and have yet to see anyone prep that far out and i felt I was starting with a pretty fit foundation so wtf??!! It frustrates me because these eating habits are hard to maintain consistently and precisely for this long, and so far I have and that worries ke because it is only gonna get worse in the weeks ahead and I dont want to crack! I have so many concerns even with my coach and our communication. I truly need it to be more regular in the weeks to come. I am always hungry and I hate meal three and meal 5 the most. Wellll actually just meal three. I am still loving the occasional peanut butter. It tastes like heaven. I just ate my 6th meal for the day (7th if you count one of my protein shakes) and I am laying in bed starving.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Walk Through.. Gotta Visualize It

With about eight weeks out till show time, I have to say it is getting very real to me. In fact it just hit me that for some of my body parts I only have eight more times to work them out. With that being said I decided last week that I would take a trip to the venue where the show is being held once a week to visualize the competition. I completely feel that you must have some sort of concept of the environment, the less unknowns the better. However, here I am sitting outside of the room unable to go in because an event is being held there right now. Oh well, baby steps, at least I am in the building!

Monday, January 14, 2013

Almost Two Months Out

Well when you put it in terms of months it seems far but when I say eight weeks I get freaked!!! I think I will start saying TWO MONTHS... At this point I'm experiencing a lot of highs and lows... Cardio is high, energy is low. Anxiety is high, food portions is low. Number of meals I consume daily is high, sleep is low. You get the gist. Along with this I have frequent headaches because of the lack of carbs, sugar, dairy. No more cafe mochas for me. I am one week in on actual competition diet and four days in on no dairy. Man has my life changed. This experience is making me grow on so many levels. I have told so many people this is more than physical and it truly is. In fact more times than not the physical part is the easiest for me to push through. I am struggling with the lack of patience, lack of energy, high irritability, and just getting my head in the game and my confidence up. I just started posing, shoes are awesome, suit is mostly finalized. Now I just need to order my suit, register for the show, and ride these next two months out. I am trying to not obsess over my body and just TRUST that it will transform. My good friend who also competes advised me to only really worry if their are no changes 4 weeks out or one month from now. But with my recent tweaks in diet and training I feel they will. My real focus is solidifying my internal dialogue to KNOW I can do this. I have come too far and worked to hard to NOT do this...

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Day One Of SOLO Posing

Soooo today along with my regular workout, I started my new diet which is ok so far. Am I hungry?? YES!!! Do I have cravings?? Yes but they are general cravings, I can't name anything specifically I want. I don't really have headaches but since things have kicked up to another notch I will say that I have felt like I was gonna throw up a few times. Hopefully that will subside. My new workouts start tomorrow but posing started today. I took a few notes on posing tips from meeting with my coach because we wont pose together for a few weeks. I also purchased my heels today because your body looks much different in heels than tennis shoes. So after my lifting and cardio I stripped down, threw on my heels and started posing in the group exercise room. At first I was hesitant because it was 5pm, prime crown time and my body is still at least ten weeks out, but then I figured I have to get used to being in front of people so I proceeded. My coach wanted me to aim for 30sec per pose...yeahhhhh right! That is hard work and it hurts!!! Totally uncomfortable! I posed for about twenty minutes, took a few pics and left. My new goal is to start at ten sec per pose and slowly build up weekly. Trust me when i say posing is a workout in itself!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Ten Weeks Out??!!!

Say what?? This is exactly what my coach said when i walked into our appointment today. That would put me in for the March show.... I was leaning more towards April!! Ten weeks seems so close...Next week we will be down to single digits!!! 9 and so on... Will I be lean enough? Ripped enough? Have enough muscle mass? Have the posing down? Be confident enough? Honestly I don't know about any of this. There are times I wanna quit. But I have wanted this goal for so long and have told so many people I almost feel obligated. Reality hit me when she said well do you wanna do a later show??HELL NO!!! I have been prepping for this on some level for about 90 days... That is three months. I know I have had more than my fair share of cheat meals because of the holidays, but I have busted my ass with my workouts, killed and finally been able to tolerate cardio, ate mostly clean, spent time and money, and I want this! It was in that moment that I realized that as I do my workouts, eat my many meals each day, climb those stairs, and strike those quarter turn poses I need to work on my internal dialogue and strengthen my confidence to take that stage. I'm still not sure about March or April or both. But we have officially started cutting to lean me out. She says I will see major changes. I pray so! My workouts have changed and cardio has gone up, as well as she requiring that I pose 20 min a day. We will officially start posing once a week in a few weeks, along with me being in the gym 6 days a week for approx 2 hours a day. I am scared and already tired. Tomorrow I will buy my competition shoes so I can pose in them. She feels super confident that I will rock either show...I just wanna believe the same. This experience is like a second job. I literally get up, eat, workout, figure out when I'm eating throughout the day, cook maybe, do dishes, go to sleep and do it again the next day. I pray all of this work pays off!

Monday, January 7, 2013

Another Season...More Challenges...Biggest Loser

And so begins another season...a new journey...lots of hard work and tons of tears. Of course I am talking about the Biggest Loser. This is by far my favorite reality show, even though I struggle to put in the that category amongst shows like the Bachelor and Honey Boo Boo. I mean this show inspires people, changes the way people think, and ultimately changes lives. It inspires me with my fitness and a a trainer. And now with this season bringing Jillian back I am even more excited! Jillian is the one public figure that made me realize I wanted to be a trainer. She is awesome, passionate, and one badass chick. Our personalities are very similar as well as our outlooks on fitness. I truly aspire to be very similar in my own career and use the same methods with my own clients. Her no nonsense, get down to business, zero excuses is exactly how I operate. I tell my clients and prospective clients all the time that I am like her, it might freak you out but she gets results. And that is what I am all about! This season is gonna be amazing and I am seriously loving the childhood obesity addition. It is a serious epidemic and although my focus in training is predominately women and their self-esteem, as well as improving women's body image and internal dialogue, I recently have thought about expanding my focus to children in the future. The cast is very diverse and after one episode it is difficult to pick a favorite because honestly I root for success across the board. However, after last night I will say my eye is on the young gay male for some reason. What are your thoughts??

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Another Day...Day TWO To Be Exact

And so it continues... Today I trained legs and shoulders which are my main focus areas and crucial areas for critique for figure shows... Don't get me wrong my midsection needs help, I have definitely been slacking lately . However that is ALL diet. I don't care what anyone says, I have done all kinds of ab exercises, ridiculous amounts of crunches, but my best results are seen with a clean diet. This is my area of weakness and seriously needs improvement ASAP! Along with traininh legs and shoulders I also did 10 minutes of stairs at a 1:1 ratio. I will admit that I am slightly panicking because I meet with my coach in 6 days and I need to be in a position where she sees improvement With that being said I am bumping up all my exercises to heavier, going hard ob cardio, and cleaning up my diet, no cheating, and praying for a miracle. I personally do not feel very good about my body right now. My workouts have been on point but my eating is a wreck. I had my last cheat last night. I am done feeling not fit. I know I looked better approx three weeks ago before I started going food crazy. I have about 14 weeks until my first possible show, I hope that I will be stage ready by then. I am very curious to see which direction my coach wants to head after our meeting as far as diet/cardio/training are concerned. I will also start posing soon which I am super excited about!! Stay tuned:)

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Day One....Competition Prep

As promised here is my take on show prep from DAY ONE. Mind you I have been training for exactly 80 days prior to today, but that was considered "off season" training/diet. Now it is game time, and getting down to business time. No room for error. I am still using the same program/diet/cardio format till next week sometime but I kicked it up a notch today. And I feel accomplished and focused. Perfect way to begin 2013. I'm gonna have to get use to saying 2013. Anyway, today was total body, 14 exercises, 3 sets of each exercise heavy! I followed this hour of lifting with an hour on the stairs with a 2:1 ratio for intensity. That is the longest I have ever done stairs. And I shocked myself! This proves I can do an hour of cardio, which I have a feeling I will be doing daily in the near future. Time to lean out!!!! I did break halfway thru for water, which by the way I consumed about 70oz at the gym. It is all about hydration right now! Anyway that was day ONE and I feel it went well!!!