Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Ten Weeks Out??!!!

Say what?? This is exactly what my coach said when i walked into our appointment today. That would put me in for the March show.... I was leaning more towards April!! Ten weeks seems so close...Next week we will be down to single digits!!! 9 and so on... Will I be lean enough? Ripped enough? Have enough muscle mass? Have the posing down? Be confident enough? Honestly I don't know about any of this. There are times I wanna quit. But I have wanted this goal for so long and have told so many people I almost feel obligated. Reality hit me when she said well do you wanna do a later show??HELL NO!!! I have been prepping for this on some level for about 90 days... That is three months. I know I have had more than my fair share of cheat meals because of the holidays, but I have busted my ass with my workouts, killed and finally been able to tolerate cardio, ate mostly clean, spent time and money, and I want this! It was in that moment that I realized that as I do my workouts, eat my many meals each day, climb those stairs, and strike those quarter turn poses I need to work on my internal dialogue and strengthen my confidence to take that stage. I'm still not sure about March or April or both. But we have officially started cutting to lean me out. She says I will see major changes. I pray so! My workouts have changed and cardio has gone up, as well as she requiring that I pose 20 min a day. We will officially start posing once a week in a few weeks, along with me being in the gym 6 days a week for approx 2 hours a day. I am scared and already tired. Tomorrow I will buy my competition shoes so I can pose in them. She feels super confident that I will rock either show...I just wanna believe the same. This experience is like a second job. I literally get up, eat, workout, figure out when I'm eating throughout the day, cook maybe, do dishes, go to sleep and do it again the next day. I pray all of this work pays off!

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