Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Well I literally feel like on some levels I am just passing time. I have one more workout left, one more cardio session, one more day of intense water consumption, and one more day of these meals I have been eating for months... My last two days will be some posing, relaxing, and carb loading. I am literally at the finish line. Who knew I could do this!?? I didnt....for the longest.. But then I did!!! All I can say is I have nothing but absolute pride for myself. I know what it took, and I did it... It is an amazing feeling. And although I am nervous I vow to go out there, hit my poses, trust in them, and let that be that. I have practiced enough. Now is not the time to over think anything. I have done the work and then some, now time to put it on stage and show off what months of busting my ass has got me . It is crazy how much goes into this. The precise diet, hard training, hours of cardio, unGodly amounts of water, posing sessions, lots if supplements, not to mention all the BEAUTY prep. The nails, hair, tanning(which I cant wait for), makeup, face waxing(ouch!), skin prep, and the list goes on.....the sacrifice, deprivation, structured days, it is a lot and deserves nothing but RESPECT.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Where did the time go??!!! This journey is seriously down to the final days....Wow... I can see the finish line...I must say with literally days left on the 200 day journey I have noticed my emotions coming back. I was emotional in the beginning, obviously because I had finally made the commitment to do this. But then I detached so I could focus. And I truly have. I have zero regrets. I did what I was told down to every last detail I survived this. I struggled, I cried, I was sore, tired, wanted to quit but I didn't. I dug deep, pressed on, all the while keeping track of every detail of my day. I thrive with structure and feeling like I have a purpose. These past six months and especially 12 weeks have given me both and so much more. I am forever changed and I wouldn't trade this moment for anything. Now in the final stretch I am on low carb, two cardio sessions a day, and the same workout regimen I have had for weeks for four days, then a week out (Sat) everything will change for "peak week". This is when it all comes together. It is also when I deplete water and will be more tired than I already am. I have definitely had mood swings, been exhausted, passed out asleep early in the night without realizing it, but for the most part I have done amazing especially since it is my first show. Also the past few dts doubt has crept in and my posing is still a struggle. However I had a peptalk tonight the re-centered me. I have made amazing strides, I have been dedicated, focused, busted my ass, ate the same damn meals, did unGodly amounts of cardio, drank an insane amount of water, and I am taking on a National level, huge show as my first show. That is no easy task, but I am doing it. So I refuse to go out on stage and not rock it! Im gonna keep telling myself that for ten more days too. Like I am going out there in hooker heels, wearing a sparkly napkin, with bright lights for lots of strangers to see.... Fuck that!!! I will own this!
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Wow....it had been three weeks since I posted?!! Where did the time go?! I cant believe I am a little over four weeks out from my first figure competition. I am all registered, suit rented, now its just about being focused for 29 more days. I am a mixture of emotions and my thoughts are everywhere but I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. It is by far the most gratifying and empowering experience I have ever been a part of. My workouts are going well, my diet has just changed to include two high carbs, 2 medium carb days, and 3 low carb days. The diet us new this week so I can't wait to see how this affects me and the changes it brings on. My posing is definitely coming along, I have made huge strides but it still needs to be tweaked before I hit the stage. I am definitely concerned about this because that is what it comes down to, my presentation. I definitely plan on posing longer each day in these upcoming weeks to nail it. I definitely have grown more crabby in these weeks because I am seriously just tired. I feel like I have been training for this for forever and I am ready to just BE THERE!
Thursday, January 24, 2013
So today started the new cardio program which was torture!!!!The treadmill! It was on a high incline at a low speed and I don't know if my issue was because I am used to the stairs or I haven't done it in a while or everytime I used to get on it I was doing it wrong?? Yes WRONG!!!But whatever it was it was a struggle!!!I did it though...So first let me tell you how I was doing it wrong and many people do it wrong, THEY HOLD ON!! It makes it easier...duh...but it takes away the benefits. I am still very tired, annoyed, frustrated, hungry, and sick of eating at the same time. It feels like I am always on the GO! I am still craving peanut butter, weird....and ezikiel...I keeeeeep saying that. My posing is still making me nervous, I do not wanna blow it!!!I rock the walking in heels, the front pose, and the back pose. My weakness is the side poses, specifically the RIGHT side, and the RIGHT side relaxed pose...What can I say I am a lefty!!! I started a video blog today as well. I feel like 51 days out is a good place to start video blogging this experience. It is far enough out to see changes but close enough that it wont be a drawn out process. Speaking of changes, I am still waiting for that AH HA, kapow, WOAH moment when my body just pops! It still looks the same to me. Very frustrating. But I KNOW that in 7 weeks with constant and correct effort my body has to get there!!!!Also I was told that I am defiitely hanging onto water, possibly my body's attempt to hold onto SOMETHING!!! But that eventually it will let go and be gone which will help lean me out more. My strength is still relatively high, but I am growing more tired quickly. My favorite meals involve peanut butter or ezikiel....and my toughest are meals three and five...It makes me laugh that I don't even call them "breakfast", "dinner", etc. Strange. Tomorrow will be my last time spray tanning to allow my body to completely clear it off so I am fresh for competition tan. That will be another adjustment that will shock my life and shake my self-esteem. I am a tanner, I feel better that way and I stay that way, so these next 50 days as I get leaner and whiter will be a challenge!
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Welllll I can't believe I am nearing the finishline!!! I have made such personal strides! I am a wiz at measuring food, preppin food, cooking food, dealing with minimal flavors and large amounts of food, just to name a few. I have stayed on course, played by the rules. I take my supplements, eat my meals, drink unGodly amounts of water, I'm precise with the timing of my meals, beast my workouts and dominate cardio. Who knew? I am doing the work so I know changes will happen. My confidence is building everyday. Am I still scared?? For sure. But I will be fine. I have come to learn that I do have quite the support system even though it is spread out and people have come out of the woodwork with encouraging words. That is huge because this is quite the rollercoaster ride, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I am truly growing, learning, and evolving every single day inside and out.
Sooo tweaks in cardio to shock the body start today! Still six days...mostly for 40 min stil but two hourlong sessuons.. Workouts the same and a couple refeed meals on leg days...that makes me HAPPY!!! My energy is lower.. Im hungry waking up and going to bed.. Thats normal it means my metabolism is working! Started glutamine today post workout to help with recovery... What an awesome journey this is, I feel so blessed and proud... Im really doing this!!! It is still so surreal!! I am now focusing on my breathing at all times to gain awareness! Super important... I am also focusing on really squeezing with every step in my cardio...
Saturday, January 19, 2013
I have a feeling these next eight weeks will fly!!! I am feeling pretty good today. I had a great plyo leg day. I was a little skeptical going into this workout because I thought I wouldn't feel it, but it had me sweating and was totally challenging! I also had a breakthrough in my posing. I felt more confident at moments of it today then I ever have. Hoping it just keeps getting better! I also posed in Kirkwood 24hr for the first time and their room shape and mirror location really made a difference. I like how I can see my back from my front pose. It helps to see what needs to be tweaked at this point. All my meals are prepped and alarms set for when I eat so I'm feeling good about that. Didn't sleep too well last night because I kept thinking about small competition details, stage, posing, etc. Seems to be a common theme lately. Actually this show dominates my conversations. I wonder if thats how all competitors are? It truly is a lifestyle change. Well here's to 8 more weeks of hard work. Closer to the finish line than the starting line!