Wednesday, March 6, 2013

10 Days Out

Where did the time go??!!! This journey is seriously down to the final days....Wow... I can see the finish line...I must say with literally days left on the 200 day journey I have noticed my emotions coming back. I was emotional in the beginning, obviously because I had finally made the commitment to do this. But then I detached so I could focus. And I truly have. I have zero regrets. I did what I was told down to every last detail I survived this. I struggled, I cried, I was sore, tired, wanted to quit but I didn't. I dug deep, pressed on, all the while keeping track of every detail of my day. I thrive with structure and feeling like I have a purpose. These past six months and especially 12 weeks have given me both and so much more. I am forever changed and I wouldn't trade this moment for anything. Now in the final stretch I am on low carb, two cardio sessions a day, and the same workout regimen I have had for weeks for four days, then a week out (Sat) everything will change for "peak week". This is when it all comes together. It is also when I deplete water and will be more tired than I already am. I have definitely had mood swings, been exhausted, passed out asleep early in the night without realizing it, but for the most part I have done amazing especially since it is my first show. Also the past few dts doubt has crept in and my posing is still a struggle. However I had a peptalk tonight the re-centered me. I have made amazing strides, I have been dedicated, focused, busted my ass, ate the same damn meals, did unGodly amounts of cardio, drank an insane amount of water, and I am taking on a National level, huge show as my first show. That is no easy task, but I am doing it. So I refuse to go out on stage and not rock it! Im gonna keep telling myself that for ten more days too. Like I am going out there in hooker heels, wearing a sparkly napkin, with bright lights for lots of strangers to see.... Fuck that!!! I will own this!

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