51 days out!!!!

So today started the new cardio program which was torture!!!!The treadmill! It was on a high incline at a low speed and I don't know if my issue was because I am used to the stairs or I haven't done it in a while or everytime I used to get on it I was doing it wrong?? Yes WRONG!!!But whatever it was it was a struggle!!!I did it though...So first let me tell you how I was doing it wrong and many people do it wrong, THEY HOLD ON!! It makes it easier...duh...but it takes away the benefits. I am still very tired, annoyed, frustrated, hungry, and sick of eating at the same time. It feels like I am always on the GO! I am still craving peanut butter, weird....and ezikiel...I keeeeeep saying that. My posing is still making me nervous, I do not wanna blow it!!!I rock the walking in heels, the front pose, and the back pose. My weakness is the side poses, specifically the RIGHT side, and the RIGHT side relaxed pose...What can I say I am a lefty!!! I started a video blog today as well. I feel like 51 days out is a good place to start video blogging this experience. It is far enough out to see changes but close enough that it wont be a drawn out process. Speaking of changes, I am still waiting for that AH HA, kapow, WOAH moment when my body just pops! It still looks the same to me. Very frustrating. But I KNOW that in 7 weeks with constant and correct effort my body has to get there!!!!Also I was told that I am defiitely hanging onto water, possibly my body's attempt to hold onto SOMETHING!!! But that eventually it will let go and be gone which will help lean me out more. My strength is still relatively high, but I am growing more tired quickly. My favorite meals involve peanut butter or ezikiel....and my toughest are meals three and five...It makes me laugh that I don't even call them "breakfast", "dinner", etc. Strange. Tomorrow will be my last time spray tanning to allow my body to completely clear it off so I am fresh for competition tan. That will be another adjustment that will shock my life and shake my self-esteem. I am a tanner, I feel better that way and I stay that way, so these next 50 days as I get leaner and whiter will be a challenge!